Fine, to put it plainly, by now I am quite aware I am not human or haven't been for some time. So emotions are different for me. In my case, they are harder for me, so to ask me to experience happiness is a difficult task and to push me to feel "happy" when I cannot fully grasp that feeling only further forces me to accept I am different and bad. I'm jealous because you make it sound so easy and it makes me want to claw my own face off. Happy?

[Waggles the clawed fingers of his left hand at]

I enjoy collecting debts. Would you deny me that much? There. There's a thing I want.