darkroastbean | [IC INBOX]

darkroastbean

[beep beep]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

I’m too tired to be unreasonable. You got lucky on timing.

From:

darkroastbean

Should I talk to you only when you're tired and potentially traumatized?

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

If you want me to be cooperative? Probably. Now what’s the special secret.

From:

darkroastbean

I'll take this boon to my grave.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Yeah, yeah now tell me the important thing.

From:

darkroastbean

Also noting that you're more agreeable if you're getting something out of it. . .[SIGHS

and digs in his pocket to hand him a pink slip]

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Isn’t everyone?

[Taking the slip and arching an eyebrow, but unfolding and reading it even with the lack of explanation]

From:

darkroastbean

[SOMETHING THAT BASICALLY SAYS THIS:

You likely know what this is, but they'll explain it to you anyway . . . or . . . not?

They give you a pink slip.

Wait, are you . . . being fired from Imeeji? Because. . . because you're too. . . normal?

. . . Ok . . .

It's time for you to make a choice. Choose Heaven, and your soul will remain intact; your world will be kept safe and away from Hell, and you'll be able to return to your life in peace—or else, you can go to a world of your choosing. Moreover, you can visit other Heaven-aligned worlds if you so desire—so long as you sign this NDA.

You can schedule a visit to Tokyo-F if you want to, but if you're busy, you can always write and send fanmail to TOKYO-F MERCHANDISING, XXXX XXXX XXXX.

You're also granted your memories, of course, should you choose to do so. The party will be at a later date—you can invite those you like.

You're granted a couple more souvenirs: firstly, your smartphone, which does not whatsoever work with your world but does somehow have a connection to the various Imeeji Idol Production shows and seasons, so you can keep up to date. The battery is always full, and for the most part, it seems indestructible. Convenient!
]

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

[Oh.]

[Handing it back.]

From:

darkroastbean

[takes it]

I've had it for a few days now, and as soon as I sign it, I'm gone. Guess I wasn't entertaining enough.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

A few days! Wow! You say it like it’s a punishment. Shouldn’t you be excited to get out?

From:

darkroastbean

. . .

I mean, yeah, in general? I really rather not being in. . .hell. . .and having cameras on me is kinda unnerving.

But at the same time, you guys are just as important to me now? Like, I missed my friends, but quite frankly, you all have been way nicer.