darkroastbean | [IC INBOX]

darkroastbean

[beep beep]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Fine, to put it plainly, by now I am quite aware I am not human or haven't been for some time. So emotions are different for me. In my case, they are harder for me, so to ask me to experience happiness is a difficult task and to push me to feel "happy" when I cannot fully grasp that feeling only further forces me to accept I am different and bad. I'm jealous because you make it sound so easy and it makes me want to claw my own face off. Happy?

[Waggles the clawed fingers of his left hand at]

I enjoy collecting debts. Would you deny me that much? There. There's a thing I want.

From:

darkroastbean

[w h e e z e!!! grabs that hand!!]

Do NOT claw your face off, what's wrong with you?! I already know you're not human now, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy. . .!

If it stresses you out that much, I'll try not to bring it up anymore, but don't hurt yourself!

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Don't be so nice to me. It's awful. It's the actual worst. I think I'm dying.

[Enjoy the feel of gross carapace hand. Also, laaaaughing.]

From:

darkroastbean

[he hates it thanks!!! the unhinged laughter, mostly, but also WOW that hand feels fucking weird. not letting go tho]

You're not dying. Despite being in hell, you're still here, alive, with the rest of us. Would you rather I hate you? Where would be the fun in that?

And you like, fun, right? Even if you don't understand happiness. . .I know you hate some things just a little bit less. So, that's all I'm asking!

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

[Sits up just enough to give a little bow]

I do like fun. Very well then.

From:

darkroastbean

. . .

[sighs, letting go of his hand once he's sure he won't ACTUALLY CLAW OFF HIS FACE]

Alright then. You don't have to include the theatrics though.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

You should have some "fun" too then. It's only fair, isn't it?

From:

darkroastbean

--what? I have fun. Do--do people think I don't have fun?

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Do you care what people think about what fun you do or don't have?

From:

darkroastbean

I don't care, I just don't want people to have the wrong impression of me. It could lead to awkward interactions.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Sounds an awful lot like caring.

From:

darkroastbean

There's a distinct difference! I have to keep up a persona too, you know!

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Go on! Do tell! What persona is that exactly? Tell me all about it!

From:

darkroastbean

Don't make that face at me!! It's nothing to be giddy about! I'm just--I'm supposed to be the helpful, nice unassuming one, you know? Everyone else is way flashier than me, so i rather just appear a little more lowkey, but likeable.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Flashy...? Who's flashy?

From:

darkroastbean

Are. . .are you being serious? All of you! [gestures with his hands]

Tea's a damn dragon! And not to mention beautiful to boot! W's a real life action hero, and those wings could catch anyone's eyes! F is super charming and smart and always showing off his weird inventions, R's a little bundle of sunshine, and even if you, even when you're just acting, you're bubbly and friendly. Not to mention anyone who didn't know you would be taken in by your little fairy act, hook, line, and sinker.

You're all amazing!

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

All of Alcheme are honorary fae. That includes you. That is...to varying degrees, we all lack memories. So our forms are all unknown. We've merely used a poet's pen to give us shape and give name to our airy nothing.

From:

darkroastbean

That is. . .weirdly poetic. Since you said honorary, I'll take it as a compliment? But I think I'm just exactly what it says on the tin. A conman. We're just really good at blending in.