darkroastbean | [IC INBOX]

.........Okay maybe reel it back, that seems like a "or die trying" effort. Don't you want anything that will make you, you know, happy?

What's so great about being happy?

. . .

I dunno. Maybe I just want you to be--it'd just be interesting to see if it were possible.

You're rather soft for a con artist, aren't you?

Probably, but it catches suckers off guard well enough.

Should a nice guy like you be saying such a rude word like "suckers"?

I'm the most honest con man you'll ever meet, and so I call suckers like I see them.

[Lays down with a snort]

[is he just laying on his bed. WITH ALL HIS BUGS. Wheeze]

. . .for real though, give it some thought. About what you want, I mean.

I can eat without being hungry, but why? If it seems entertaining, I'll do it. It isn't something I "need" though. Since you asked, I'll do it, but I have a request in return then.

Don't riddle me this at me. And technically you still have an IOU from me since you helped me complete bingo anyway, so you don't HAVE to do it. . .

But what's the request?

Fine, to put it plainly, by now I am quite aware I am not human or haven't been for some time. So emotions are different for me. In my case, they are harder for me, so to ask me to experience happiness is a difficult task and to push me to feel "happy" when I cannot fully grasp that feeling only further forces me to accept I am different and bad. I'm jealous because you make it sound so easy and it makes me want to claw my own face off. Happy?

[Waggles the clawed fingers of his left hand at]

I enjoy collecting debts. Would you deny me that much? There. There's a thing I want.

[w h e e z e!!! grabs that hand!!]

Do NOT claw your face off, what's wrong with you?! I already know you're not human now, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy. . .!

If it stresses you out that much, I'll try not to bring it up anymore, but don't hurt yourself!

Don't be so nice to me. It's awful. It's the actual worst. I think I'm dying.

[Enjoy the feel of gross carapace hand. Also, laaaaughing.]

[he hates it thanks!!! the unhinged laughter, mostly, but also WOW that hand feels fucking weird. not letting go tho]

You're not dying. Despite being in hell, you're still here, alive, with the rest of us. Would you rather I hate you? Where would be the fun in that?

And you like, fun, right? Even if you don't understand happiness. . .I know you hate some things just a little bit less. So, that's all I'm asking!

[Sits up just enough to give a little bow]

I do like fun. Very well then.

. . .

[sighs, letting go of his hand once he's sure he won't ACTUALLY CLAW OFF HIS FACE]

Alright then. You don't have to include the theatrics though.

You should have some "fun" too then. It's only fair, isn't it?

--what? I have fun. Do--do people think I don't have fun?

Do you care what people think about what fun you do or don't have?

I don't care, I just don't want people to have the wrong impression of me. It could lead to awkward interactions.

Sounds an awful lot like caring.

There's a distinct difference! I have to keep up a persona too, you know!

Go on! Do tell! What persona is that exactly? Tell me all about it!

Don't make that face at me!! It's nothing to be giddy about! I'm just--I'm supposed to be the helpful, nice unassuming one, you know? Everyone else is way flashier than me, so i rather just appear a little more lowkey, but likeable.

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