darkroastbean | [IC INBOX]

Q: Okay so like, I'm not crazy rich like B or C were so don't get too excited, k?
Q: But Because they spoiled me, I didn't have to buy much for myself
Q: Also obviously I'd be worried cause like you're the most normal out of all of us
Q: Take care of yourself, basically.

[ Q has transferred 29,300 points ]

Testing.

I'm making you coffee as an apology for being difficult.

[bEep BeeP incoming drunk call from a fairy, that of course goes straight to voicemail]

P! Normal man P! It's truly unfortunate that you had to leave us so soon! Worry not though, I'll be sure to honor your memory! Or rather, I did!

I delivered quite the eulogy, you know? I'm sure you would have cried like the weak temporary creature you are, faced with your own mortality! Ahahaha....ha....

Ah, but it can't be helped! Did you know, P? P, I'm sure you were watching from beyond! I took a memory in your honor! You weren't there to see it, of course. And should you return from the grave I don't plan to share it.

But that is only fitting considering yo-[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Please select 1 to send your message. Select 2 to re-record]

[Like immediately redials when the voicemail cuts him off]

I also don't plan to give your room back. I've repurposed it. That is to say, it is mine now. If you return from the dead, then you will simply have to live in the ball pit like the creature you are.

Or maybe W will show you some pity. He seems fond of you. He is also soft and squishy. He'll probably take pity on you.

I've already taken the liberty of redecorating, you see. Don't worry about it, it's not yours to worry about. Though I might be kind if you beg a little? You have bigger things to worry about, such as the whole being dead...thing!

Maybe I should spend your points on a lavish funeral. Oh, can you IMAGINE? Then again, you don't seem like the sort of person to get out much. If you were alive, I would probably tell you that you need to get out more or else no one will show up to your funeral. Too little too late, isn't i-[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Please select 1 to send your message. Select 2 to re-record]

[Redials AGAIN................only to hiss into the phone like an angry cockroach, followed by a crash sound and a dialtone]

[P is getting a phone call from F's phone....!]

My hand slipped.

Anyways!

Games are so easy, I don't get what everyone is complaining about. What? Are they hard or something? You know though, I really do know something you don't know. Not that I'm going to tell your ghost.

If you take too long to return from the dead, we may already replace you with a better letter. I had a wonderful live idea for you, you know? Would you even be grateful? I'm sure R will be much more appreciative. I always like them better anyways.

I won, it seems. I got all your points and you haven't managed to ask for.........whatever it is you're bribing me for. If you think I can give you wings, you're wrong. Are you planning to eat me? It's mermaids that grant immortality, you know... Tch... What was even the point? Was hanging out on this show with us so bad...? Is that show so much bette-[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Please select 1 to send your message. Select 2 to re-record]

[Redials...]

...

...

...

...not that I hope that show is bad. I don't care if it's good either or anything. If you're enjoying it then good for you. I got to feel other peoples' emotions today. It was weird...feeling something other than... I suppose this is the part where I should say sweet dreams or good night or something like that? Do you dream? What do "normal people" even dream about? [The voicemail box is full and cannot accept any messages. Goodbye.]

Tch.

There was a drinking game and I may have partied too hard, whoopsies!

Do you want to play a game?

Edited 2022-04-18 07:14 (UTC)

I have at least two bodies.

Edited 2022-05-13 04:55 (UTC)

[AS PREVIOUSLY INSTRUCTED, P is being sent many photos from Interesting and Experimental angles of the black cats delivering people their fanmail. Some of them are even not too blurry! Wow!]

[Knocking like a normal ass person]

You had better have been serious about letting me come to stay with you.... Because I am already here. And I am going to find you. And even if you changed your mind, it's too late. You can not take it back this late, so you are going to just have to deal with me. I warned you, so you can't complain. If you regret it, you only have yourself to blame.

Day 442, late night

Day 443

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