darkroastbean | [IC INBOX]

darkroastbean

[beep beep]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Getting a reaction out of W. Because that is probably hard mode.

From:

darkroastbean

.........Okay maybe reel it back, that seems like a "or die trying" effort. Don't you want anything that will make you, you know, happy?

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

What's so great about being happy?

From:

darkroastbean

. . .

I dunno. Maybe I just want you to be--it'd just be interesting to see if it were possible.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

You're rather soft for a con artist, aren't you?

From:

darkroastbean

Probably, but it catches suckers off guard well enough.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Should a nice guy like you be saying such a rude word like "suckers"?

From:

darkroastbean

I'm the most honest con man you'll ever meet, and so I call suckers like I see them.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

[Lays down with a snort]

From:

darkroastbean

[is he just laying on his bed. WITH ALL HIS BUGS. Wheeze]

. . .for real though, give it some thought. About what you want, I mean.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

I can eat without being hungry, but why? If it seems entertaining, I'll do it. It isn't something I "need" though. Since you asked, I'll do it, but I have a request in return then.

From:

darkroastbean

Don't riddle me this at me. And technically you still have an IOU from me since you helped me complete bingo anyway, so you don't HAVE to do it. . .

But what's the request?

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Fine, to put it plainly, by now I am quite aware I am not human or haven't been for some time. So emotions are different for me. In my case, they are harder for me, so to ask me to experience happiness is a difficult task and to push me to feel "happy" when I cannot fully grasp that feeling only further forces me to accept I am different and bad. I'm jealous because you make it sound so easy and it makes me want to claw my own face off. Happy?

[Waggles the clawed fingers of his left hand at]

I enjoy collecting debts. Would you deny me that much? There. There's a thing I want.

From:

darkroastbean

[w h e e z e!!! grabs that hand!!]

Do NOT claw your face off, what's wrong with you?! I already know you're not human now, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy. . .!

If it stresses you out that much, I'll try not to bring it up anymore, but don't hurt yourself!

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

Don't be so nice to me. It's awful. It's the actual worst. I think I'm dying.

[Enjoy the feel of gross carapace hand. Also, laaaaughing.]

From:

darkroastbean

[he hates it thanks!!! the unhinged laughter, mostly, but also WOW that hand feels fucking weird. not letting go tho]

You're not dying. Despite being in hell, you're still here, alive, with the rest of us. Would you rather I hate you? Where would be the fun in that?

And you like, fun, right? Even if you don't understand happiness. . .I know you hate some things just a little bit less. So, that's all I'm asking!

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

[Sits up just enough to give a little bow]

I do like fun. Very well then.

From:

darkroastbean

. . .

[sighs, letting go of his hand once he's sure he won't ACTUALLY CLAW OFF HIS FACE]

Alright then. You don't have to include the theatrics though.