darkroastbean | [IC INBOX]

darkroastbean

[beep beep]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

darkroastbean

How to destroy the world. How to destroy yourself. Why do you hate everything. Does everyone hate you. Do you not have a purpose outside of what you were summoned for. What will you do after leaving this place. Pondering why you believe you're incapable of feeling human emotions.

I can go on.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

...

Well now you're just showing off.

From:

darkroastbean

Secret human power. We learn and evolve.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

I might have noticed.

...there's a child I look after back home. "Look after" is a bit generous. I help teach her magic in her dreams because it's useful to me. She learns quickly and evolves quickly too.

From:

darkroastbean

[thIS FACE, LIGHTING UP]

You. . .have a friend?

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

No, I lie and tell her I'm Merlin, so she doesn't realize it's me.

From:

darkroastbean

[DEFLATES]

I. . .don't know who that is, but why? It must mean you want her to stick around, right? Aside from you generally enjoying screwing with people. . .

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

[Please hold, looks the most delighted he's ever looked]

Did you just say you don't know who Merlin is? The grand caster?

From:

darkroastbean

[genuine baffled look]

N. . .no? Should I?

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

You don't read much, do you?

From:

darkroastbean

I read plenty!! Merlin just sounds like one of those dumb wizard names. Or a cat.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

[Actually laughs...and not like a weird fake laugh. Congratulations.]

From:

darkroastbean

[.....DELIGHTED BUT ALARMED?]

Am I missing a joke. . .?

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

He is a dumb wizard....that is very fluffy like a cat. That said, he is probably the most powerful of all caster class servants.

From:

darkroastbean

Wait.

You mean the ACTUAL Merlin?? Literally?

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

What other Merlin would I be talking about?

From:

darkroastbean

I just thought you knew some other weirdo going by the name!

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

At least you properly called him a weirdo.

From:

darkroastbean

Because wizards are silly. . .our theming aside.

So why did you have to pretend to be him to trick this kid?

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

It would complicate things in the waking world. Letting her believe it's Merlin teaching her in her dreams is easier.

From:

darkroastbean

I. . .don't get that at all.

But you must have enjoyed her company to go through the trouble.

From:

morelikefakespeareamirite

…As much as I can like anyone, probably.

As the true pillar, she’ll probably be the one to defeat me this time around if I succeed in destroying the false pillar.